On the way to heaven

Here is the place to post Jokes and funny stories, Just keep it clean

Moderators: Kid, Casey 65

Post Reply
User avatar
Alan Mclennan
Posts: 9324
Joined: October 14, 2006, 6:16 pm
Location: In the shed... Cranebrook NSW
Australia

On the way to heaven

Post by Alan Mclennan »

All arrivals in heaven have to go




through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether




admission will be granted. One room has a clerk who




inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on




his or her last day of life. The first applicant of the day




explains that his last day was not a good




one: "I came home early and found




my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just




gotten out of the shower. But, her hair was dry.




I checked the shower and it was completely dry, as




well. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began




to look for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our




9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rails




by his fingertips. I was so angry that I began bashing




his fingers with a flowerpot. He let go and fell, but




his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On




seeing he was still alive, I found super human strength to




drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it




over. It hit the man and killed him. At this




point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart




attack and died." The clerk thanked him and sent




him on to the next office. The second applicant said that




his last day was his worst: "I was on the roof of an




apartment building working on the AC equipment. I




stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I




managed to grab onto a balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment




but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my




hands with a flower pot. I fell, but hit some awnings




and bushes and survived, but as I looked up, I saw a huge




chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the




way but failed and was hit and killed by the




chest." The clerk couldn't help but




chuckle as he directs the man to the next room




He is still giggling when his




third customer of the day enters. He apologizes and




says, "I doubt that your last day was as




interesting as the fellow in here just before




you". "I don't




know", replies the man.




"Picture this, I'm buck naked hiding in




this cedar chest....."
Honey, If I say I`ll fix something I will, there`s no need to remind me every 6 months!!
66 f100 tabletop swb 351 Clevo C6 "Beryl"

Slick Stock 3 KCMO
Slick Stock 4 Altoona
Slick Stock 5 KCMO
Slick Stock 6 Altoona
Slick Stock 7 Salina KS
Slick Stock 8.............................. cry.gif
Gritsngumbo
Posts: 5441
Joined: August 4, 2007, 4:15 pm
Location: Monroe, Louisiana
United States of America

Re: On the way to heaven

Post by Gritsngumbo »

Good one Alan.
If you understand what you’re doing, you’re not learning anything.


LITTLE RED: 64 F100 Short Style
BIG RED: 62 F100 Long Uni
BIG “UN": 63 F250 Long Flare
BBW RED: 61 F100 CC BBW Long Uni
CRIMSON CREW: 63 F100 "Stageway" Long Flare Crew Cab
"RANGER": 66 F100 CC Long Flatbed
"AVA" 1963 Avion T-20 Travel Trailer
“Lucille” 1955 New Moon 44’ Travel Trailer
Post Reply