On the way to heaven
Posted: October 7, 2014, 4:00 pm
All arrivals in heaven have to go
through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether
admission will be granted. One room has a clerk who
inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on
his or her last day of life. The first applicant of the day
explains that his last day was not a good
one: "I came home early and found
my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just
gotten out of the shower. But, her hair was dry.
I checked the shower and it was completely dry, as
well. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began
to look for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our
9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rails
by his fingertips. I was so angry that I began bashing
his fingers with a flowerpot. He let go and fell, but
his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On
seeing he was still alive, I found super human strength to
drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it
over. It hit the man and killed him. At this
point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart
attack and died." The clerk thanked him and sent
him on to the next office. The second applicant said that
his last day was his worst: "I was on the roof of an
apartment building working on the AC equipment. I
stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I
managed to grab onto a balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment
but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my
hands with a flower pot. I fell, but hit some awnings
and bushes and survived, but as I looked up, I saw a huge
chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the
way but failed and was hit and killed by the
chest." The clerk couldn't help but
chuckle as he directs the man to the next room
He is still giggling when his
third customer of the day enters. He apologizes and
says, "I doubt that your last day was as
interesting as the fellow in here just before
you". "I don't
know", replies the man.
"Picture this, I'm buck naked hiding in
this cedar chest....."
through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether
admission will be granted. One room has a clerk who
inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on
his or her last day of life. The first applicant of the day
explains that his last day was not a good
one: "I came home early and found
my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just
gotten out of the shower. But, her hair was dry.
I checked the shower and it was completely dry, as
well. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began
to look for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our
9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rails
by his fingertips. I was so angry that I began bashing
his fingers with a flowerpot. He let go and fell, but
his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On
seeing he was still alive, I found super human strength to
drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it
over. It hit the man and killed him. At this
point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart
attack and died." The clerk thanked him and sent
him on to the next office. The second applicant said that
his last day was his worst: "I was on the roof of an
apartment building working on the AC equipment. I
stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I
managed to grab onto a balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment
but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my
hands with a flower pot. I fell, but hit some awnings
and bushes and survived, but as I looked up, I saw a huge
chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the
way but failed and was hit and killed by the
chest." The clerk couldn't help but
chuckle as he directs the man to the next room
He is still giggling when his
third customer of the day enters. He apologizes and
says, "I doubt that your last day was as
interesting as the fellow in here just before
you". "I don't
know", replies the man.
"Picture this, I'm buck naked hiding in
this cedar chest....."