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Charm School

Posted: April 10, 2017, 4:29 am
by Alan Mclennan
Two well-dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the Brisbane Airport Terminal.

The first lady was an arrogant Victorian married to a wealthy business man.

The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from Broken Hill NSW

After a little while the Victorian woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."

The lady from Broken Hill commented, "Well, isn't that fantastic?"

The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz."

Again, the lady from Broken Hill commented, "Well, isn't that fantastic?"

The first woman went on, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."

Yet again, the Broken Hill lady commented, "Well, isn't that fantastic?"

The first woman then asked, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"

"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Broken Hill lady.

"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "What on earth could they teach you??"

The Broken Hill lady responded, "Well as an example... Instead of saying, "Who gives a Fuck?" I learned to say, "Well, isn't that fantastic?”

Re: Charm School

Posted: April 10, 2017, 8:08 am
by slick4x4
That's not exactly how I heard that story...... :roll:

Re: Charm School

Posted: April 16, 2017, 12:45 am
by Alan Mclennan
Lyn has a friend who married a yank morman and lived in Utah for ten years before coming back home, her favourite saying was Lordy Be !. She ended up telling us it was her polite way of saying Bullshight !... and Pat.. The Lord only knows what you've heard mate :lol:

Re: Charm School

Posted: April 16, 2017, 9:17 am
by slick4x4
The first time I had surgery...
Emergency removal of gall bladder
I'm laying in the bed in pain
Little young nurse says "you need to get up & walk some"
I told her ...no thanks, I'm fine
She said "no...we have to get you on your feet"
Well... She did... It was the most pain I had ever been in
I cut loose with some colorful words
She told me"I'm a bit religious ... And I've never heard of some Of those words"
I replied ... I'm not overly religious .... But I had never
Heard a few of those words either

Re: Charm School

Posted: April 16, 2017, 5:15 pm
by Alan Mclennan
slick4x4 wrote:That's not exactly how I heard that story...... :roll:
I bet the Lady from Broken Hill wasn't in you version of the story Pat ! :lol:

Re: Charm School

Posted: April 16, 2017, 9:01 pm
by slick4x4
I try to not cuss a bunch
But some times ...
When I'm telling a joke ....
Ya just can't beat a good m***** ****** for a great punchline :mrgreen:

Re: Charm School

Posted: April 18, 2017, 1:22 am
by Alan Mclennan
how's ... Shine on Harvest moon sound then :lol: Bluey ?

talk about Punchlines ! :oops:

Re: Charm School

Posted: May 7, 2017, 8:02 pm
by LM14
slick4x4 wrote:I try to not cuss a bunch
But some times ...
When I'm telling a joke ....
Ya just can't beat a good m***** ****** for a great punchline :mrgreen:
Also works with machines that test your grip electrically.....

Re: Charm School

Posted: May 7, 2017, 8:12 pm
by slick4x4
I didn't say anything.....
That jumped out of my body
Like a loaded spring flys out of a carb when disassembling it ....
The nerves Controled the vocal chords without the brains permission