I walked out to the shop today and when I opened the door it seemed heavy. As I walked across the shop floor I could hear the coal dust crunching under my shoes and I was reminded that I was wearing my good clothes. I looked across the shop at the empty ladder back chair next to the coal stove. I almost expected to see him sitting there. Greasy overalls, cap sitting a little sideways on his head, holding a part up toward the light and looking at it over his bifocals.
I thought about how different he looked now. Cold,stiff, strength gone and wisdom departed.
I thought about my earliest childhood memories of riding on his shoulders hiking through the forest.
I thought about his last request to me that his ashes be scattered in the same forest.
I thought about the projects we have worked on together. His house, my house, his barn, my barn, his shop, my shop, trucks, tractors, lawnmowers. We have worked on almost every machine with moving parts. We even made seven new cedar ribs for a canoe and stretched new canvas on it. I realize the projects where his way of pouring his life into me to prepare me to walk into a time that he would not see. I now wonder what I can do with my life that will be worthy of his investment? It's been nine days since I lost my Dad and I already have a list of questions I wish I could ask him.
Goodbye Dad. I miss You!
Kathy 