The FRONT Of A Tree...........

[slick4x4]

DO YOU KNOW THE FRONT FROM THE BACK OF A TREE?

A REDNECK FROM GEORGIA DECIDES TO TRAVEL ACROSS THE SOUTH TO

VIRGINIA TO SEE GOD'S COUNTRY.

WHEN HE GETS TO FRANKLIN ,HE LIKES THE PLACE SO MUCH THAT

HE DECIDES TO STAY.BUT FIRST HE MUST FIND A JOB!!!!

HE WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER COMPANY OFFICE AND FILLS

OUT AN APPLICATION AS AN EXPERIENCED LOG INSPECTOR.

IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY!!! THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING

FOR SOMEONE, BUT FIRST, THE LOG FOREMAN TAKES HIM FOR

A RIDE INTO THE FOREST IN THE COMPANY PICKUP TRUCK TO SEE HOW

MUCH HE KNOWS.

THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND POINTS

AT A TREE "SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE?

I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT SPECIES IT IS AND HOW MANY BOARD FEET OF

LUMBER IT CONTAINS."

THE REDNECK PROMPTLY ANSWERS, "THAT THAR'S A WHITEPINE, 383 BOARD

FEET OF LUMBER IN 'ER."

THE FOREMAN IS IMPRESSED!!! HE PUTS THE TRUCK IN MOTION AND

STOPS ABOUT A MILE DOWN THE ROAD.

HE POINTS AT ANOTHER TREE THROUGH THE PASSENGER WINDOW AND ASKS

THE SAME QUESTION.

THIS TIME, IT'S A BIGGER TREE OF A DIFFERENT CLASS.

"THAT'S A LOBLOLLY PINE AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT 456 CLEAR BOARD FEET."

THE FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE GOOD OL' BOY,

HE HAS BEEN QUICK AND GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT WITHOUT USING A

CALCULATOR!!!! ONE MORE TEST.

THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD, AND THE FOREMAN STOPS

AGAIN.

THIS TIME, HE POINTS ACROSS THE ROAD THROUGH HIS DRIVER SIDE

WINDOW AND SAYS,

"AND WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE?" BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHES

POINTING, THE REDNECK SAYS,

"WHITE OAK, 242 BOARD FEET AT BEST."

THE FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS BACK TO THE

OFFICE A LITTLE TICKED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS THE RED NECK IS SMARTER

THAN HE IS. AS THEY NEAR THE OFFICE, ANOTHER FOREMAN STOPS THE

TRUCK AND ASKS BUBBA TO STEP OUTSIDE.

HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM,

"SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE?" "I WANT YOU TO MARK AN X ON

THE FRONT OF THAT TREE!!" THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF,

"IDIOT, HOW WOULD HE KNOW WHICH IS THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"

WHEN BUBBA REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND IT IN A CIRCLE

WHILE LOOKING AT THE GROUND. HE THEN REACHES UP AND PLACES

A WHITE X ON THE TRUNK. HE WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN AND

HANDS HIM THE CHALK. "THAT THAR'S THE FRONT,"THE REDNECK SAYS.

THE FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AND ASKS SARCASTICALLY,

"HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"

THE GOOD OL' BOY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET, WHILE RUBBING THE

TOE OF HIS LEFT BOOT CLEANING IT IN THE GRAVEL AND REPLIES,

"CUZ SOMEBODY TOOK A SHIT BEHIND IT!"

HE GOT THE JOB.

[Truckrat]